September 2018

Highlights, ramblings, what have you. Here goes!

  • Gained a few more pounds because of serious PMS episodes + eating my feelings away to make up for all the anxiety, missing Ranie, and general “I need a win” moments. Must exercise, but ironically now that I am in the mood, I seem to be busier + no time for it? I really wish I’d stop making all these excuses.
  • Ranie’s back. Yey. So far… we’ve been focusing on other things — career, families, etc — rather than our married life. I think we really need a milestone, i.e. moving out. I seem to take it as a given, i.e. when the condo has been turned over. But we need money for that?
  • Money, money, money. Tsk. I write so much about it, yet I struggle with it, too. 😦
  • Nursing a toothache ATM (as if I needed another item on my basketcase list)
  • Work has been interesting, a lot of pitching and events and to-dos. Taking on as much as I reasonably can, because bills don’t adjust to your career whims and paltry paychecks. Hay.
  • Skincare + Makeup has been a serious source of relaxation and comfort. I just wanna record how much I enjoy dolling myself up + being good to my skin. It is important.

Got asked quite a few times this month re: what I am doing. The easiest thing to say is I’m going freelance, but it’s also not that… *deep breath* So, some longtime colleagues and I are putting up a small content / ideation agency, a longtime dream!!! But “putting it up” isn’t as rosy and easy as simply presenting a deck, getting a handshake, getting a client, and doing the work (my ideal scenario, oh naive me). This early on, we’re already getting a few reality checks, a realization that things might take slower than we thought, an awareness that we need to work our ass off to make this happen… fortunately we’re all on the same page. Honestly, under all the worry and work, I am happy this is happening, and thankful. So yes, I want this to happen and to succeed!!!

On top of that, consultancies (which will hopefully get clearer / continue to grow well into 2019), plus some good old-fashioned rakets for my Australian now-ex boss. So far, this is a good mix! This is this mix I envisioned for myself, the grind I want, the work I love to do. Not gloating, just aware and super, super thankful.

So you’d think that, having arrived at the page / chapter where I get to work on what I said I’d want to work on, I’d have it all figured out.

Turns out it’s just as confusing and scary (but at least, the tiredness hasn’t set in or intensified… for now). Also, there’s always that worry of what if things don’t work. That’s something that a non-corporate set-up will always have I guess.

I wish I could write out something more thoughtful. But I’m just… letting things happen. And also making them happen as much as I can. If that makes sense.

I’m letting myself just do this all, and focusing on getting good results. Maybe. 🙂

Let’s see!


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