Currently…

In love with this skirt, bought in an Indian apparel store in Thamel. Photo by Ranie

READING:

Hunger Makes Me A Modern Girl, Carrie Brownstein. Every other page makes me long for college and Solar circa 2009-2010, and the pithy experience I have of being inside dim, dusty-smelling crowded rooms, clutching a beer growing warm fast and listening to friends sing their feelings (usually heartbreak) out. I crave it, even if I have never been fully immersed into it.

Lined up: The Heart Goes Last, M Train, Slade House. 🙂

DOING:

@Home: We’re getting ready supposedly to move out by the end of this month. It’s going to be a crazy, crazy Christmas. I can’t wait!

@Work: Excited for the Romi/JW profile to come out end of month. NOT excited for one of the other latest assignments. I’m really apprehensive that, one way or another, it will backfire because people will always connect our earlier decisions with our more recent ones, as is happening now. I’ve expressed (albeit not aggressively enough) my concern about it. Short of saying I don’t want to do it (because I don’t want to lose my job). First time, I think, that I’ve encountered the closest thing to a moral/ethical dilemma at work, controversial my position was in the first place, years ago (but that, I dived into, because despite what other people thought, I believed in the project. This ONE, I’m not so sure). Let’s see.

@School: Defending my thesis proposal on the 12!!! One big step closer to graduating – finally – next year. I’m putting off thinking too much about it because the more I linger the more I question everything I’ve written but at this point it’s too late to edit it so much until my panel expresses their concerns.

FEELING:

Excited. We made a really big decision this year, and it means that next year, things will be much, much better. 🙂 I’ll leave it at that. It’s gonna affect us significantly – financially!!! – but it’s important, it’s long overdue, so thankful that things finally fell into place and it felt ‘right’ to embark on it already.

A little sad. Pride gets in the way, but there’s really no way of getting around/avoiding this. What one did was really hurtful, and it’s hard to be accepting at the onset. It’s completely understandably why one is angry. On the other hand, compassion – and empathy – is really, really needed at this point. Both need to cave, both need to understand. But it’s not easy. And as R said, I can’t push it. So I’m praying and hoping that hearts soften, soon.

RANDOM:

  • First of Nepal “official” stories is out! Read here.
  • I love my new phone (have it for about 2 months now) Like, super love it. It’s proving to be very useful. And it’s so beautiful. Haha. I haven’t had a “top of line” phone for years.
  • But Globe’s Internet connection stresses me out. All. The. Time.
  • Must focus on just being good at my priorities right now.
  • Facebook is the ultimate anxiety pill. I need less of it.
  • Excited for a new project – might mean a happy Christmas! ❤
  • It’s so hard to sustain exercise with the weird schedule / long work hours! But I’m not exactly complaining, I know that i just need to be more determined.
  • Overall, thankful, warm, and just generally more positive than usual.

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