I’ve been increasingly spending warm Saturdays at home, making it a point to do nothing. Not that there is nothing to do. Actually, I have quite a lot of weekend deadlines. But it seems that my mind is not in the mood to move. With so much thinking and doing that I do during weekdays, by the time Saturday rolls in, I’m rendered useless and fizzled out. I’m thankful that I can opt to relax and be rebellious about deadlines – after all, it’s a weekend and technically there should be no deadlines!
Oh brain what are you turning into. I’m inclined to think that it’s the heat. I’ve always needed rain and wind pattering and blowing against my window to turn random keypad beatings into words and sentences. I think.
That said, there’s actually probably another reason why I’ve been neglecting serious stuff since Thursday:
My Papa actually got me a tablet. A beautiful 7.7 inch Samsung Galaxy Tab, which I’m now slowly filling up with the little things I need inside it (so far I have sketch apps, a piano, Kindle, magazines…). I can’t let go of it for a long time. Funny thing is I’ve hardly left the house since the day I got it (two days ago) so I haven’t test drove it yet. But it’s perfect. I’m still figuring out how to tether my phone’s data plan to it, because so far what I’m doing is using my SIM in it (it also works as a phone). I have really wanted one for months because it’s such a useful tool for shoots, meetings, and school. I’m so thankful and so glad that I kept the faith. God has truly been so amazing since last year, everything has been coming and happening at the perfect timing. I am so giddy with excitement and with pleasure. Thank you God for these wonderful provisions! (and Ranie got his iPad too, on the same day mine arrived! The coincidence is amusing, and kind of reflective of how our lives have been governed and brought together by all these eerie parallels and “coincidences” ever since we first met.)
It’s a season of change and big things for this house – we have also been seriously house (or lot) hunting. I am excited for that too, although it will mean tighter belts. Ahlee and I will be expected to contribute for the funds and the payments that will be needed. I’m not worried though because I’ll have work, somehow. And it’s something which I have really wanted us to do for a long time. So we’re finally moving on with our plans! Praise God for that too!
What I’m really worried about is my upcoming trip to KL (my 2nd). I already have tickets, but not my parents’ permission. Apparently it’s harder to get it the 2nd time around because a) we are supposed to be on stringent times i.e. a trip is extravagant (even though I won’t really spend there since it’s c/o Ranie) and b) what the hell do I need a 2nd trip for? (In their opinion). But I really want to go. It’s my birthday month and all. The first time was bitin and it would be nice for Ranie and I to get to do more things before he comes home. Because an opportunity like that might not come again for a long time right?
But if they really say no, going on is not an option for me (I still want to be in their good faith somehow. I want them to trust me and Ranie both). But I’d seriously regret it (and then there’ll be the unused ticket to worry about too). IDK why I’m so worried that they’ll turn me down (well, technically, they have but I haven’t exactly made kulit either so there). I’m just praying that their heart will be open. And that in the coming weeks, things will fall into place. And just like the first time, this will go by without a hitch. Lord (this blog is turning into a prayer blog somehow!), will it if it will be according to your plan for Me and Ranie. Please guide me on how I will go about it.
Weird. I’m reading everything now and my “worry” seems so shallow compared to everything that’s going on around me. As is typical of me. Sigh. Anyway. Now I feel better because it seems shallow… so hopefully there really is nothing that I should be worried about. Everything will happen and everything will fall into place, as they always have. Repeat 100x.
Please will it God Please will it! 🙂