Always, whenever I’m on the cusp of concretizing, affirming, or wallowing in a negative perspective, I stumble upon a message, an incident, or a story that’s so similar from my own experience, and yet so different. Where on my part I see myself broke, aimless, and stuck, I see how another person is free, travelling, and with all the time in the world to think and to rest and to love. And it challenges my dilemma and my concerns about my current circumstances. And I realize how banal and self-centered my “problems” often are. And I realize how myopic I am about my situation, how the opportunities I want are right here, in front of my, waiting to be taken.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself that deep down, conventional notions of success like money, a big house, or a walk-in closet of designer shoes are not really the things my heart seeks. These are just by-products, or superficial acquisitions which I intend to grab, should I have surplus. But my biggest goal is to live my life full of love and vigor. To have something to smile about everyday. To watch people around me with open, hungry eyes, to know their stories, and to keep it in pen, paper, or blog. To observe, after a storm, a raindrop barely hanging on to a flower-stalk and to see a rainbow, an ocean of light, and a tale of tremulous resilience our country is so familiar with. To praise God, for his creation of people, of land, of music. To fall asleep holding hands and dreaming of the next country to visit.
We need to learn how to think things through, long enough, so that we always arrive on the good. We should always keep in mind that living in a rotating planet makes human existence inherently resilient. There will always be storms, but there will always be beautiful raindrops with rainbows inside them afterwards.
I have a LOT of reading to do tonight to prepare for tomorrow’s exam! It will be very nerve-wracking to do a full paper-type exam again, ala college, but this should be super fun. Theories and name-dropping galore all over again!